December 18

So I woke up today and didn't think anything of it. Then it happened... I got to school and I had a test in Government. Barely passed that. Then I went home because I couldn't handle today at all. I mean sure we taped the principle to a wall but still. Then I found a letter I wrote when my good friend committed. And now here we are at 20:14 and I haven't stopped crying for approximately two hours. And I also started to look at apartments. With how expensive they are it'd just be easier and about the same price to just buy a freaking house. The house I live in with my family is about 800$ and then all the add on's such as water, gas, electricity, television, and internet. Which altogether is about 1,000$. When I move out though I won't have TV I'll just do Netflix. It's cheaper and you have no commercials. But I have to factor in if I wanna get in a serious relationship and we buy the house together because then all the bills would be split basically. Or I could just get a roommate and rent. But looking at prices for apartments they are 500-1,000$ not including all the other things. And that is just renting. You'd be better off to just buy a house. But half the time my life's a shit show. What else can I expect? My parent's marriage is failing and I'm the oldest so I just add on to all the stress and here I am someone that they both vent to. All I hear about is how shitty their lives are together. I just want my kids to be able to think back and say "Damn no wonder moms like this" but it won't happen